Good bye all - as I will leave this Earth killed by bees
Current mood: scared

I spent last Monday in the hospital after a swarm of bees attacked my head.  Not a pleasant experience.  Although after  a bag of Benadryl (and a few other drugs) were intervenously emptied into my arm, it wasn't so bad I guess. 

It WAS fun trying to use my phone to call everyone.  Between my swollen lips and the drowsiness of the Benadryl it kind of turned out like a drunk dialing episode more than anything.

ME: "pphhhhhtttt...djyftbfbjk*l;c;;c'v[][wjytrueo??????"

Other person: "huh...WTF"....click

Apparently, after 4 decades of life now my body has gone and made a split decision without me.  We're gonna be allgeric to bees from now on!  Sweeeeet!  Only thing is - I always manage to get stung EVERY Summer.  MOF; I was just stung on the lower leg around 3 weeks ago while mowing...no reaction...just shook it off and kept mowing.

I will probably die from a bee sting now.  Not sure WHY but They (medical officials) say my next sting will cause a worse reaction.  My fate is sealed. I say this because I just got back from retrieving the mail.  After slamming the mailbox shut ANOTHER swarm of bees began pouring out of the newspaper box attached directly next to the mailbox.  Needless to say - I ran back up the driveway screaming like a 7 year old girl while neighbors silently remarked "what a pussy". 

The only thing I could think of was "great, this is how I'm gonna go -  lying face down in my driveway bloated like a record setting squash at the fair" - what an heroic way to be remembered.   

My family are contributers to my "stinging" history as well.  One time while driving (shirtless mind-you) a bee flew into our car while we were stopped at an intersection.  I had leaned forward to check traffic when the bee decided to land on the seat behind me.  My wife, a woman who I think loves me, placed her hands on my chest and hurled me backwards in an attempt (I guess) to use my body as a weapon to squash the stinging varmit.  Well, as most of us know, car seats aren't exactly hardened surfaces and squashing an insect on a "cushy" seat isn't the best way to rid yourself of a pest.  Needless to say the bee wasn't amused - nor feared for his life.  As a matter-of-fact I distinctly remember the bee being merely pissed off and deciding to work out his pent up anger on my back. 

THAT HURT.  But not as bad as when I noticed several small hands from the back seat on my shoulder attempting to assist my wife and keep me from releasing the bee from it's agitated state of entrapment.  With family like this - pretty sure I don't need any enemies...especially bees.